Seven things you can do right now to change the direction of your marriage


1. Be Courteous:  It has been observed that many couples will treat strangers more courteously than they will their spouse or even their kids. Men treat your wives as vessels of fine china and ladies respect your husbands. Treat each other well and your marriage will improve.

2. Esteem Your Spouse:  Show your spouse that you value them. Do and say things that build them up let them know they are important to you. Husbands treat your wife with dignity, respect and worth. Wives, there is nothing in the world that your husband wants more from you than your respect. Try to out give them with love. constantly try to go the extra mile, do the extra thing and show your spouse with words and deeds that you love them.

3. Communicate:  Talk to one another and let them know your hopes your dreams and your desires. You can talk about the kids, eating out or exchange information but when you speak from your heart about your hurts and feelings deep down you bond to one another. It’s probably what you did when you dated. What stopped? Start it again.

The other part of this is listening. If your spouse is speaking from the heart don’t be thinking about the game or putting on your makeup. Stop and turn and listen to each other. We are very good at speaking but we are horrible listeners. This needs practice, so practice.

4. Spend Time with Each Other:   Have time together alone. Cut out special times for just the two of you to do things that both of you like to do. Remember the greatest teacher of how your kids will live and love is you. Teach them well.

5. Fight Clean:  Proverbs 15:1 says, “A gentle answer turns away wrath but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Don’t be sharp, harsh, quick tempered or purposely hurt one another in a disagreement. Even when you’re offended speak gently. If you’re the offender don’t turn away and say, “Get over it.”

     No matter how angry you are you must remember this is the person that you love and have chosen to be with the rest of your life. If your fighting style includes belittling, humiliating, clamming up, condescending or smug looks, or harsh and caustic responses you are doing serious damage to your marriage. Here is why. Your mate wants to believe the best in you but if you excuse poor behavior because of emotion your mate won’t believe anything but the worst in you. If you blow up and explode in anger and use that to manipulate your mate into cowing to your will you have won the battle but you will have lost the war. Your mate will find someone who will esteem their worth outside your relationship either emotionally or physically or both.

6. Trust One Another: Marriage needs trust to survive. If you have friends of the opposite sex that you are emotionally close to it will make your spouse uneasy and for good reasons. You quite possibly sharing emotions that should be reserved only for your spouse. If your husband or wife tells you that a person of the opposite sex is getting to close, don’t argue, put the distance between you and them. Don’t betray the trust of your mate for some perceived freedom on your part.

      Also don’t be continually suspicious of your mate. If you couldn’t trust them; why did you marry them? unfounded jealousy on your part will eat away at the core of your marriage, your trust in them. As a young person I was always told I was a trouble maker because I was the preacher’s son. I wasn’t really any worse than any of my friends, however by the time I was a teen I started thinking. If that is what they expect from em who am I to disappoint them. Your spouse can make the same conclusion. If you are always accusing them of indiscretion and punishing them they may conclude that they may as well do it because they are already receiving your wrath.

7. Create Romance:  Do what you use to do when you dated and find other romantic things to do. Demonstrate that you care. Be affectionate in the ways that your spouse appreciates. Show them how much you love them by doing the things that spark romance for them. Act like you’re dating because you are. Think of each other like you did when you were trying to win their heart, because you are, every day.